Caregiver Tip: You have the permission to say that this is hard, and even though you’re having a hard time, so am I.
Hi, I’m one of the sisters behind the Confessions of a Reluctant Caregiver podcast. My sisters and I started the podcast a few years ago when we had a profound realization—we were caregivers. It wasn’t something we identified with at first, but caregiving was at the heart of our lives.
For me, it became clear after my husband finished his cancer treatment. I didn’t recognize what I was feeling: depression, restlessness, unease. I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t happy or relieved.
After all, he had survived. But something in me had shifted. It wasn’t until I started talking to my sisters that I realized I wasn’t alone in this. We were all in the thick of caregiving—not just for my husband but also for our mom, who has been living with Parkinson’s for over 20 years.
Here’s the thing no one tells you: caregiving is hard, and it comes with emotions we don’t always know how to name—guilt, shame, frustration. I kept thinking, “Why shouldn’t I be grateful? I’m healthy. I can do this.”
But the truth is, we often don’t give ourselves permission to acknowledge the toll caregiving takes. We don’t want to complain because it feels selfish.
That’s one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned: it’s okay to admit this is hard. It doesn’t mean we love the people we’re caring for any less. It just means we’re human. I also learned that there are resources and services that can help us, and it’s not a weakness to use them. In fact, it’s a strength.
The most important thing I discovered is the value of taking care of myself first. Everyone’s heard the airplane analogy: put your oxygen mask on before helping others.
But as a caregiver, living that truth is a whole different story. I had to learn to prioritize my well-being, because if I didn’t, I wouldn’t be able to support my husband—or anyone else.
So, here’s what I want you to know: you’re not alone. There are so many of us out here walking this path with you, and we’re here to support you. It’s okay to admit that caregiving is challenging, and it’s okay to take the time and space you need to care for yourself.
You deserve it, and so do the people you love.
Did Natalie’s story resonate with you?
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